Be Discreet! Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend, Using a Dose
of Feminine Wiles

Women tend to enjoy grilling their boyfriends with questions. What makes him tick? Is he a loser or a knight in shining armor? While it's sensible to try to get a handle on who he really is, you've got to engage in finesse to get answers that stick. Guys have their own formulas for manipulation, often more discreet than a woman's!

On the flip side, women tend not to give guys sufficient credit and may end up being quite transparent. The man runs off in a hurry, feeling threatened with life in a cage. To get at the truth of the matter, questions to ask your boyfriend must be choreographed and staged sequentially, over a period of time. Using this strategy, you get the real scoop, with your boyfriend none the wiser. Slap me on the wrist, but it works.

All women want to know if their boyfriend is the cheating kind. This question to ask your boyfriend must definitely be broken into several queries, each giving you subtle clues that give you a pretty good idea. For example, instead of blurting out, "Would you ever cheat on me?," you've got to start with observations, but no questions. Watch his reactions to other women in public places. Does he look at every attractive woman? How does he react to your girlfriends? See, you've got two answers already. Actions speak for themselves.

Of course, the follow up verbal questions to ask your boyfriend might include, "Wow, that girl's wearing a great dress! Do you like dresses or shorts better on girls?" This is a diversionary tactic. He'll be confused, thinking you're asking about clothes. Meanwhile, is he watching the girl with more than acceptable interest, or does he give just a brief glance?

Now let's say this is your Prince Charming. You want to know about his feelings on kids. This is one of the top questions to ask your boyfriend, according to the buzz. Do not ever ask, "Do you think you'll want to have kids?" It's surprising that, as artful as we women can be in most other areas, when it comes to raking a guy over the coals in our quest for straight up answers, we too often cut right to the chase. Bad move.

Here's a better approach. Make a date for a walk in the park on Saturday morning, one that takes you through the playground. Find a bench and sit down. Watch. Comment on a cute kid that wanders by your bench. Does he become engaged in talking with the kid when you do? Yes, great. No, inconclusive. Devise another way to find your answer.

Here's the strategy in a nutshell. Make a list of all the questions to ask your boyfriend. Use situations instead of direct questions. You'll find most of your questions will be answered without grilling. Be cagey and observant. You'll learn everything you need to know.

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